Sometimes I think to myself, "Do I really have to speak up here?" or "Can I really make a difference by speaking at all?". I for one, have a hard time approaching conflict and oftentimes look at saying nothing at all as taking the high road and, in a twisted way, making the situation better. I'm not sure why I'm oftentimes mute in situations that conflict with my personal values, and as I said, I usually chalk it up to just being afraid to speak up. I'm working to become a better judge as to when I should intervene, but so far, I'm failing. One specific, and recent, situation that speaks to my habit of being morally mute is the time me and some of my friends were approached by a homeless man on High Street.
We were right across the street from the Union and myself and three other friends were standing in a circle in the middle of the sidewalk, it was probably around 9 at night when this happened. We were all dressed nicely from our Monday night chapter meetings and had just grabbed dinner. Two of my friends saw someone they knew and waved her over, I didn't know her that well but we all began to talk about our weekends. I turned my head, on instinct for some reason, and noticed a man creeping up behind my friend Jimmy. I didn't want to make much of his presence, so I didn't bring attention to him, even though I had a bad feeling about him being behind us. Before I had turned my head and made eye contact with him, it looked liked he was ready to reach into Jimmy's pocket and steal his wallet. Finally he inserted himself into our circle and cut right to the chase: "Excuse me, does anyone have a few dollars to spare so I can get a cup of coffee?" he said. I said "Sorry, I don't carry cash usually!" and my other friends agreed. I lied to him, which instantly made me feel terrible, but he looked ready to steal from us until I noticed him. Why would I give him money? The girl my friends waved over spoke up and said "I'm sorry we only carry our school IDs usually!" and the man's facial expression turned from a crooked smile to a complete scowl. He responded to her with "So what the hell am I gonna do since you won't help me? I'm homeless!" and charged towards her. Shell shocked, I just stood there even though I was the closest one to him and could have stopped him. Luckily, my friend Mike intervened and pulled her out of the way. The man stormed down High Street screaming at us with every stride. She was terrified, and I felt horrible for letting it shake out like that. We wound up storming back to the Union and finding her someone to walk home with.
So, my moral muteness comes in two forms in this situation. One, I didn't speak up when I noticed the man ready to steal from my friend. I could have made a point of it, and we could have walked away before he inserted himself into our circle. Two, I allowed myself to be a bystander when he was ready to harm one of the people I was with. Like I said in my introduction, I'm always afraid to insert myself in a situation when I feel it could be better handled by someone else. But none of us there were prepared for that to happen, and they handled it better than I could have imagined handling it all by myself.
Moral of this story: be weary of your surroundings, and never be a bystander if someone is in harms way. Whether it be making yourself a part of the situation at hand, or informing someone else more capable, NEVER be silent. The guilt you feel after being morally mute in a situation such as this is immeasurable.
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Hello Jon, I really enjoyed your post! Speaking up has always been difficult for me as well. However, it sounds like you are aware, and that seems to be the first step in learning how to intervene. I wonder what it is about our culture that predisposes us to avoid conflict. I found very interesting how you touch on two different types of moral muteness you participated in; I never thought about the physical aspect of moral muteness before.
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